Saturday, September 1, 2012

it would only happen to me.

Dear Reader,

         I'm a true believer that after one is dumped, they are entitled to one good make out dream. And who was the guest star in my coupon dream this past week? None other than this man.

Yes, that is Rick Moranis. You can officially feel bad for me.

         Ya know those awkward moments when you're like "that would seriously only happen to me...." yeah, well I've had a couple winners this week.

         On my first day in physiology lab, I sat in my chair scanning the room for handsome gents. Of course there are only two in the entire class, one of whom was proudly reppin his wedding band. The other, to my delight, was a total fox (It's going to be a 20 woman cat fight this semester).  Our small asian teacher decided to show a video about the reproductive system on the first day. Being a health major, I'm accustomed to hearing the words testes and fallopian quite often, so that wasn't a big deal. The real kicker came when right as the video talked about sperm tails falling off inside of the woman's egg, I gave a disgusted look and made accidental eye contact with the fox. Consider that relationship nipped in the bud. 

         On Tuesday night I decide to have a night in by myself. A "Sammi-Jammy Party" as I like to call them. I've recently fallen in love with the Keri Hilson version of "Turn my Swag On", and decided to put on a little concert in my bedroom. Now before I go on, you should know my philosophy of  "If I can't see you, you can't see me" (pretty self explanatory).  So there I was gettin all kindsa thug in my flat-rimmed North Carolina hat, with my bedroom window wide open. I finished off with a super fly Michael Jackson-esque spin and noticed two guys standing not but 15 feet away with a look of embarrassment for me. I wish them many months of incurable mono. 

         Gosh I love my life. Reader, do yourself a favor today: listen to "Dreams" by The Cranberries, drink some Diet Coke, and take some much needed you time. 

Happy three-day weekend to you all.
-The Swampman

1 comment:

  1. sami you crack me up! i love reading your posts! they always make me smile!! hope all is well at usu! we miss logan so much!