Safe to say it's been a while. Why the sudden return? Perhaps it's my boredom on this lonely Saturday night. Or perhaps it's my overflow of thoughts that is making me a little crazy. Either way, time to blog.
I COULD start with a recap of the last 8 months of my life. But you know the story: New school year, new roommates, got a new car, kissed a black guy, and discovered the glory that is Chik-Fil-A.
I COULD tell you all about how I fell in love for the first time and experienced pure joy; how I had my heart broken for the first time and experienced pure hell. And how I finally moved on and realized that I have my whole fabulous life ahead of me (insert other cheesy "Single Power" quotes to make me sound more satisfied with my life).
I COULD go on and on about my obsession with cats; how I kidnapped my neighbors cat on Christmas and told my Mom it was a holiday miracle, how I befriended and continue to feed the ginger kitty that lives in my parking lot, and how I love nothing more than calendars of cats unhappily dressed in embarrassing costumes.
I COULD tell you all about my new best friend Richard K. Morgan who was born with a heart condition and left brain-damaged as a baby. How he truly is an angel on earth without a negative bone in his body. And how he blew the world away with his sign language performance of "Silent Night" at the special needs' mutual talent show.
I COULD brag about how I've unintentionally lost 17 pounds since August. #suck it- I just did
I COULD write this all in Spanish now.....well, almost.
I COULD admit to my new love of tanning beds. Yes I know they're terrible and hand out cancer like the old man down the street with his nasty butterscotch candies, but until you've tried it once your opinion is like a Nickelback song: I don't want to hear it.
I COULD tell you all of my hysterical stories from work. Little Nathan with his constant efforts of professing his love for me, little Karina writing a rap about me when I had the flu and getting us matching electric green slap-bracelets, little Jakobi bragging about his shoe-tying ability because he's from Mallad, and the 20+ times that I have been groped (frighteningly enough, I suspect only 19 were accidents....)
I COULD tell you about the time when I had tea and crumpets with the late Ringo Starr (note: still determining if this was or was not a dream).
I COULD go into depth about my anxiety of the bus system. There is just so much to be untrusted; so much unknown.
But I'm GOING to blog about something that deserves some awareness (and no, it's not that Kony shiz). It's Soylent Green. I hear it's made of people. Spread the word.
-Faithfully Returning,
The Swampman
